I really like this

Love is life. All, everything that I understand, I understand only because I love. Everything is, everything exists, only because I love. Everything is united by it alone.

Leo Tolstoy (1828-1910)

I hate the heat.

FUCK

stupid stress
stupid bad genes
stupid prom
stupid need to be good at it
stupid diabetes
stupid people
stupid worry
stupid stupid
stupid illnesses
stupid Cazenovia
I'm really scared and if I pee one more time tonight I'm going to cry and I want to have a sleepover with Zoe and Wednesday in my bed and cry a lot with them because I'm about to burst at any little thing and I miss them and school fucking sucks and I'm stressed and I'm not as good as I want to be and
stupid hormones
stupid competition
stupid death
stupid loneliness
stupid fear
stupid hope
stupid distance
stupid lack of communication
stupid emotions
I have to pee now...

What's your middle name?

I'm really bad at conversation, but I can rock a clarinet and I think that should be enough.
I'm 93% sure I want to go to for music, and I'm pretty sure I could get into a good school for it too.

I really wish everyone who knew me before 8th grade could forget how terrible and obnoxious and stupid I was and just judge me for how I am now. I'm constantly trying to make up for it, to some avail, but not much.

And I'm pretty sure I'd walk through hell for you, let the torturing ensue, these soles are useless with out you.

Past four days?

Nottingham is pretty kick ass. Everything is so much more casual than Caz. I kept thinking the teacher was going to blow up at some kid who was talking really loudly or blatantly checking their cell phone but they didn't seem to notice. The only thing I would miss if I went there would be the band room and my band teacher because he's pretty awesome.

After school I walked with Zoe and then watched Howl's Moving Castle and then went to the park with Kathleen and Ray!! I didn't realize how much I missed them but I missed them a lot. It's slightly terrible. Passover with Zoe which I'm pretty sure I failed at, but that's okay.

I really want to see that movie The Soloist and Sunshine Cleaning and Where the Wild Things Are and A Haunting in Connecticut.

The next day I made a pretty awesome card for Robert's birthday and then felt sick and went home and I've felt pretty crappy all day. And on Monday I'm going to Boston with Laura and I need to talk to Wednesday.

I feel like I wasn't even there for most of this week, I think I took too much Tylenol. =/

Really long and random and...

My Mom just told me to get a grip on myself because I was laughing really hard at her question. Her question was does my hair look like a wild woman from Borneo... It was six inches in the air and it was funny.

I really want to learn how to play the guitar... and the cello... and the saxophone. Even though I already know how to play the clarinet, trumpet and a little bit of the piano. My grandfather must be right, music isn't going to be a good profession for me.

Rainbow is turning into more and more of a gay fest. And this time I'm not a part of it. If I have to hear about someone not talking to someone about how they don't like them just so that someone can get with that someone at Grand Family I am going to BURST! At least their little gay buddy didn't run out of the organization and leave them hanging.

John Mayer's a babe... yep.

I don't want to hear about prom either, and that little girl that you supposedly don't like but you're taking her to prom in your little stupid joker costume... Gah!!!

I miss my wifeyy because she's the best and we can cuddle and watch musicals together and sing them and walk and eat and not feel fat and trade bras and sleep and be my best friend and yell about people together and not let anyone else come. Sighhh...

URK! Damn Yankees is stupid.

My band teacher is not racist nor is he called "Master Johnson." You're stupid.